The world according to me…

Uneventful weekend but it was an emotional rollercoaster ride. Friday night I cried to sleep because I was so hurt and disappointed. He was knocked out and had no idea. I woke up and the waterworks came on again. I stopped crying and was staring at the ceiling when he woke up. He asked why. I gave him a brief summary of what and why. He was not defensive. He was not offensive. He merely did not respond and made a joke. That’s how he deals with everything - denial of the pink elephant in the room. We went for a walk later in the evening and I bitched him out. He responded. Things were semi-fine.
That night, he was having another one of his bad nights. He asked me if he should do it. I told him it’s his life. He asked me to stop being PC and tell him what I think. I told him to grow up and own up. I explained that it is as easy as simply not giving into your cravings. I asked him to be stronger and not always choose the easy way out. I even offered a compromise that compromised pretty much everything I stood for. Yes, it’s stupid for me to do that but I am willing to give me up so he can be stronger. In the end, he balked. We went out and had a blast. Then, we talked and talked. The honesty was overwhelming. I was so close to telling him something about what he said because it’s a load of crap but we were interrupted.

Two dark horses came over at 4am and he gave in as an act of politeness. After all my convincing, he did it anyway. I had nothing to say because I am in no position to do so. I quietly went to bed as he entertained his guests. I knew what was coming. He is predictable when he gets like that. I indulged him for a little bit. In hindsight, I should have ignored him and pretended to be asleep or flat out tell him sod off. By the way, I have a plan for the next time he falters but I pray with all my heart that it doesn’t happen anymore. He needs to be able to do this on his own. I can’t always be there to stop him but I’ll be damned if I am going to sit quietly in the bylines and watch him hurt himself. I have kept mum for too long but not anymore. He is not perfect but his flaws are overshadowed by his goodness. I love him and I take the bad with the good. I have never been the strong one in any relationship but I carry the weight between the two of us.

I won’t be meeting his mum and I won’t be going upstate with him. He has valid reasons and I agree with them. We both discussed it at length and it is best that he does what he has to do. There are more important things than us having fun because he has obligations as do I. I have to be understanding because I will, one day, need him to do the same for me. He will make it up to me and we ended our discussion there.

"Phew! Take a deep breath. Take it easy, young padawan. It’s a big step but millions of people have done it…and survived. So you are going to be just fine." That’s what I told myself after I excused myself to the bathroom when he told me what we were going to do and then extending THE invite.
I was a bundle of nerves when he told me. Yes, I will stop with the drama and tell you what’s up now. I am going to meet his mother. Yes, it’s a big deal, goddamnit! Friday night, he simply dropped the bomb on me that his mother will be in town Monday and all three of us were going to see an exhibit together. I played it cool when he told me. I was screaming on the inside because I realize it was a big freaking deal but my Greek God don’t need to know how excited I was! Then he invited me to spend a long weekend with him up in Woodstock at his mother’s place for Halloween. By that point, my heart was pounding and I struggled to seem nonchalant about it. I told him that I didn’t want to plan that far ahead. Later when he brought it up again, I had to say yes!!! So, I am taking three whole days off work to drive up there with him. It’s going to be so much fun!
I have never met any guy’s mummy before! It’s too soon, right? It’s been only a little over two months. I know his dad, stepmum and sister but we have never really chatted. This is a big deal for me. Wow, I am a grown-up! It’s kinda cool, actually. At any rate, I was nervous as hell but change of plans so I won’t be meeting her tonight. Well, actually, he called me yesterday to tell me his mum is sick and wouldn’t able to make it tonight. I am off the hook for now but still, I will be spending three nights with her at the end of the month.
There is a three-fold reason to this trip being a big freaking deal. One, I am meeting his mum (look, she is very important to him!). Two, this is probably the biggest effort the Greek has made to spend any quality time with me. Three, we will be spending A LOT of time together up there so…well, we might hate each others guts afterwards. Nah, who am I kidding? He adores me and I worship him!
Hey, did I tell you we survived "having kids" this weekend? We babysat for my BFF on Saturday and it was amazing. We took the kids to a late dinner at a semi-nice place. He spent the whole time teaching them dining etiquette. He carried Josh on his shoulders and he let AJ talked his ears off. He is perfect. My Greek God is PERFECT! Well, until I let him run to the grocery store and he brought back a whole candy store! I was so mad at him. His defense? He didn’t know what the kids like so he HAD to buy everything.
All four of us snacked on candy and by midnight, the two kids were bouncing off the walls from the sugar high. Yes, loading kids up with candy before bedtime…not a good idea. What can I say, the Greek just indulges the two kids. We slept on the floor while the two kids took up a whole Queen size bed. We wake the next morning and the baby had an accident on the bed. I was blown away at how calmly and patiently the Greek handled it. He is a good man, he really is.
I had a really good weekend. Everything about it was good. I felt so close to him this weekend. There were some major breakthroughs there, girlfriend. I am not too disappointed that I won’t get to meet his mum tonight because I am just so excited about us going up there for Halloween. He also promised that we will carve my first pumpkin and we will toast the seeds. Just when you think things are going well enough, he makes life just a little sweeter. Yes, I am spoiled. S’ayapo!